Yesterday, on Facebook, I suggested that I was starting to look favourably on the King James Only movement. This elicited a lot of good responses, including a few from people who had obviously not picked up on the fact that it was April Fools’ Day.
The Beaker Folk of Husbourne Crawley have been having some similar thoughts, but they have decided that it would be good to actually have more versions of the Bible…
… In the Builders’ Bible, there are footnotes and diagrams reflecting the different kinds of construction involved in the various buildings mentioned. At various points the constructors of the Tower of Babel, the Walls of Jericho and the Tower at Siloam are referred to as “cowboys”. Deuteronomy 22:8 is paraphrased to ensure that as well as building a parapet around flat roofs, you should supply anyone going onto such a construction with a hard hat. The description of the Eternal City in Revelation 21 passes the comment that, in the translator’s view, pure gold isn’t going to be very hard wearing as paving material, and you might be better off with a more traditional tarmac construction. When Noah is asked to build the Ark, God remarks that if he keeps slipping off home at lunchtime it’s going to take years.
In the Professional Footballers’ Bible,every decision that God makes is challenged by the People of Israel. Goliath is sent off for “diving”.
You really need to read the whole post, so head on over there now.
While on the subject of the Beaker Folk, their April Fools’ Day post was by far the best that I saw anywhere. It was as perfect an example of subverting an accepted narrative as one could ever wish to meet… oh, and it was very funny.
On a serious note – the picture is of the Kouya New Testament. Please don’t forget that there are 350,000,000 people without a single word of Scripture!